


I love you goodbye

by ZhkW11



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, I wasnt sure if I was supposed to put a major character death warning but i did anyways, Please Don't Kill Me, Reader-Insert, Sad Ending, This is kinda shitty but it still made my heart hurt to write, i never use a name because i hate the yn thing but it still counts as reader insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhkW11/pseuds/ZhkW11
Summary: here's what happens when I watch angel beats and then haikyuu right after.Apologies.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Kudos: 3





	I love you goodbye

I walked lightly through the kitchen, trying my best to not make a sound as I grabbed polaroids stuck to the fridge and threw them in a box. 

I held a picture of him and I at the beach together.  __

_ ***  _

_ “Excuse me ma’am, can you take a picture of us?” He handed the polaroid camera to a woman wearing a light blue swimsuit and a floppy sun hat. She nodded, smiling at me as I blushed excitedly.  _

_ He positioned himself behind me, arms draping over my shoulders, hands grabbing my own. He was the perfect height to sweetly rest his chin on the top of my head, smiling at the camera.  _

_ We heard the ‘click’ and were handed the camera back, left alone together by the shore to wait as the picture developed.  _

_ “This is so nice… I’ve never been to the beach before.” I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder.  _

_ “Yeah you mentioned that a few thousand times.” He teased, kissing the top of my head in an attempt to do some damage control before I could rattle off an insult back to him.  _

_ “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” I grumbled before reaching up to peck him on the cheek.  _

_ I looked at the now developed polaroid picture in my hands, holding it up so he could look at it with me.  _

_ “You’re blushing, I love it when you blush..”  _

_ *** _

My breath hitched, brought out of my thoughts when I heard the clearing of a throat. 

_ Fuck. _

“I knew it seemed too quiet.” The unmistakable voice of Oikawa echoed through the kitchen. 

I turned around, the box of keepsakes gripped tightly in my hands. My eyes watered at the sight of him, leaning against our bedroom door in his sweatpants with heavy bags under his eyes. 

“Tooru..” I didn’t even know what to say. I’d left without a trace so many times, not once had I been caught. I’d never had anyone there to catch me. 

“Did they find you?” His voice trembled. I couldn’t say it. I nodded. 

He chewed on his shaky lip, shoulders tensed. He was trying not to cry. 

“You know, seeing you standing there by the fridge with that look, like a deer caught in headlights, you look like you did the first time we met.” He let out a breathy laugh. 

*** 

_ “Who the fuck are you?” I jumped at the low, hostile voice of a man.  _

_ The voice of a man.  _

_ Just the thought of another man angry with me made me collapse onto my knees, looking up and the shadowy figure with scared eyes.  _

_ “Please sir I’m sorry- I didn’t know a man lived here. I’m so sorry, please… Please just don’t- don’t…” I trailed off, voice caught in my sobs. The pit in my stomach widened.  _

_ “Hey hey, what are you talking about? I’m just a college boy, I’m no man. I’m not angry, just startled. I don’t wake up every night to a pretty girl eating out of my fridge.” He crouched down in front of me, hands up to prove he intended no harm.  _

_ “You think I’m pretty?” I asked him, eyes wide.  _

_ “How about we talk about how aesthetically pleasing your face is after you tell me why you broke into my apartment to eat all my… cupcakes? Are you seriously just eating all my cupcakes? You’re gonna get sick.” He sounded worried, but that didn’t stop the way I yelped, stumbling backwards when he reached his hand towards me. His eyes widened and he brought his hand away from me.  _ __  
  


_ “I’m not gonna hurt you.”  _

_ “That’s what they all say.”  _

_ ***  _

“Let me come with you.” He pleaded. 

“It’s too dangerous.” I shook my head. 

“At least wait until morning to leave. Please, I can’t… I just need a few more hours with you. I can’t say goodbye just yet.” He pleaded, voice cracking. He was so close to breaking. 

I walked up to him, instinctually nuzzling his hand when he brought it up to cup my face. 

“I have to leave before they see your address. Please. The sooner I leave, the sooner you’ll forget me.” I rested my hand on top of his. 

That broke him. 

His shoulders shook and tears fell from his brown eyes. He fell to the floor in front of me, sobbing. I immediately dropped down in front of him, guiding his head to rest in the crook of my neck. 

“I love you.” He managed to say, hiccupping immediately after. He always hiccups when he cries. 

I knew he loved me, he made sure I did, but he had never said it before. I never let him. 

Tears immediately clouded my vision and I let out a loud, heart wrenching sob. The weight of the world had suddenly fallen onto my back, pushing me down to rest my head on the wooden floor as I cried. 

“No. Take it back. Take it back!!” I shot my head up to look at him as I yelled. 

He grabbed my wrists and pulled me up to face him at eye level. 

“No. I won’t. I love you, dammit.” He clenched his jaw, fighting back his tears. 

*** 

_ “Hey, I think I lo-” I interrupted him, “please… never finish that sentence.”  _

_ He stood there, staring at me with bewilderment and hurt.  _

_ “If you say it, I’ll say it back. I can’t do that. I can’t… I can’t admit I feel that way. I’d be putting a big target on your back.” I bit my tongue at the thought.  _

_ “Okay. I won’t, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t… I’ll just show you some other way.” He seemed determined.  _

_ ***  _

“Fuck. I love you too, you know I do. I love you more than anything, that’s why I have to leave right now. I can’t let you die.” I shook my head violently at the thought. 

“I know baby, I know. Just… If you ever find me again, you better stay for good.” He kissed my forehead softly before pulling me into a tight hug. 

“I will, I promise. I love you, good bye.” I leaned in and placed a soft, tender kiss on his cracked lips. Before he even had the chance to return it, I was up and gone. 

Tears fell from my eyes as I walked down the street, facing the sunrise. Eventually, I made a sharp turn into an alley. The barrel of a gun pressed against the back of my head, I heard the click. 

“Tell me the names of all the people you’ve spoken with since you ran away. You know the drill.” He ordered. 

Every time before this, I was a coward. I don’t want to die. I have a will to live that is far stronger than it should be. Every time before this, I would cave in and give every name I could think of. 

I killed so many people. How could he love me? 

I took a deep, shaky breath. I knew the next words I spoke would seal my fate. 

This time, my love was stronger than my will to live. 

“No, I refuse.” I spoke back, choking on my tears. 

“Fine, have it your way.” 

A gunshot, a body dropping to the ground, police sirens. 

He saw it all on the news, he recognized my face immediately. 

_“Early this morning, a girl in her early twenties was found dead in an alley. Police are yet to find any clue as to who would do such a thing. The girl has not yet been identified, but she bears a striking resemblance to_ _a young girl who was reported missing 15 years ago. If you have any information regarding this case, please call us at-”_

He turned off the TV. He couldn’t bear to see your lifeless face being flaunted on the news. 

He couldn’t handle it. The guilt, the regret. 

He would’ve died for you, and he hates that he let you go and die for him instead. 


End file.
